fbpx

The day my father committed to marrying my mother

My father, Ranjan Sarkar, Västerås, Sweden, 1970

Image and Narrative contributed by Jaydeep Sarkar, Mumbai

This picture was taken a year before my parent’s marriage. My father, Ranjan Sarkar, had moved to Sweden from Calcutta, in 1968, with his first job as an Engineer with ASEA.
 
The first child from his generation to work outside of India, my grandmother was particularly concerned about his single life and urged her elder children to find a match for my father. At that time, he was thirty, and only a thirty year old bachelor in the family could be a cause for such ‘epic concern’.
 
Pictures of prospective brides would be sent to my father by mail, for his consideration. Unsure about committing to marriage, he would resist taking a decision on any of the pictures.
 
Finally my eldest aunt (my father’s eldest brother’s wife) sent him a letter loaded with melodramatic words of emotional blackmail, urging him to get married, for his “own sake and that of the family”. With the letter, came another set of five pictures.
My father’s friend photographed him here on a Sunday with his Minolta camera, as he went through the letter and the five photographs that came with it. One of the pictures was that of my mother’s, Jayshri Sengupta. Probably the one he is looking at in this image, or not. But it was on this day, that my father decided he was ready to commit to marriage.
 
A year later, my parents got married. They met each other for the first time, on the day of their wedding, at the ‘mandap‘.
 
The day was also momentous for another reason. It was the day of the final confrontation between Indian and Pakistani troops, before Bangladesh was liberated on the 16th of December 1971, a day after their wedding. The people of Calcutta were urged to switch all their houselights off, for fear of aerial bombings. My parents got married in darkness, with light only from the fire of the ceremonial ‘havan‘.
 
Next day, when my mother stepped into my father’s house for the first time, the blackout was called off as India won the war. All the lights came on at that moment as if by divine design, in the house and the city. An occurence that seems right out of an Indian soap, but true! Everyone from my father’s family started cheering loudly much to my mother’s shock and horror!
 
On 15th of December 2016, my parents celebrated their 45th anniversary together. My mother passed away in 2018 and my father in 2019.

BECOME A PATRON : Work on Indian Memory Project takes time, money and hard work to produce. But it is necessary work because parallel views on our histories matter. If you like the project, admire it, and benefit from its knowledge, please consider awarding us an honorarium to make the future of this project robust and assured. You can support Indian Memory Project for as little as Rs. 500 or more


SHARE THIS

This Post Has 7 Comments

  1. Like a beautiful Jhumpa Lahiri plot!

  2. what a lovely story — thanks for sharing.

    Including the marriage just by haven light;
    lights coming on the minute your mother stepped in etc.

    What do they say — truth is lovelier than fiction (even Jhumpa Lahiri’s lyrical stories) ?

  3. Reminded me of Ashima and her husband’s story from Namesake.

  4. Such a beautiful story, it perfectly complements the photograph. Thank you for sharing.

  5. Dear Jaideep but where is the photo of both your parents??

  6. Beautiful snapshot. Literally and otherwise. :)

  7. Lovely… reminded me of one of Jhumpa Lahiri’s short stories

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Close Menu