“Being a good and honest maid was the best I could do”

“Being a good and honest maid was the best I could do”
My Wedding Reception. Bandra, Bombay. February 14, 1982

My Wedding Reception. Bandra, Bombay. February 14, 1982 Image and Narrative points contributed by Sunita Vishnu Kapse, Mumbai We lived in Shivaji Park, Bombay in a house that our families had lived in for eight generations. My father‘s name was Tulsiram Pawar and my mother’s was Chandra Bai. My grand-mother who lived until the age of 101, used to work in the municipality as a road sweeper. My father also worked for the municipality of Shivaji Park, cleaning garbage. But he was an alcoholic, most of the times drunk and incapable of working. He would beat up my mother and abuse her all the time, but she gulped all the pain and began working instead of him. She is the one who earned and brought us all up. Her salary at the time was only Rs. 200 a month, so it was tough on her. Most men in the chawl were in similar jobs and were all drunks & wife beaters, exactly like my father. All the girls in the chawl were scared to get married anticipating the same future. My family belonged to the Mahar Caste, considered untouchables and of low caste in India. But we all got saved when my parents adopted the beliefs preached by Babasaheb, Dr. B.R. Ambedkar. If it wasn't for him, we would have been on the streets or dead, of hunger or indignity. My parents converted to Buddhism following Ambedkar’s encourgement and since then we have been restored our dignity. We are four sisters and two brothers. I was born on November 13, 1963. In school I studied up to class 10 (sometimes as night classes). I used to love dancing, participated…

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A spring in our lives

A spring in our lives
Soni and I. Faridabad. 1975

Soni and I. Faridabad. 1975 Image and Narrative contributed by Adit Dave, Delhi In 1975 my family and I moved to Delhi from Assam. After college I began working with the Government of India in various departments of administration. I called myself a Sarkari Naukar, a government Servant, because it really did feel like that. However, I had a passion for Motor Bikes and Rock Music, and it always made everything better. This image was taken in the spring of 1982, and as I call it, also the spring of our lives. I had met my girlfriend Soni just a few months ago, at a New Year’s party; she was introduced to me by her sister. She used to work with a well known home accessories store called, The Shop at Connaught place, near Regal Cinema in Delhi. I remember this day clearly. Delhi weather in spring was just wonderful and it was also great for a motorcycle ride into the wilderness. I had donned my usual old hand-me-down army great coat, pulled on my helmet and tooled on over on my trusty Royal Enfield bike (a third hand purchase for Rs. 3000) to pick up my new girlfriend Soni for a short adventure outside the city.The air was cold and crisp, and with good friends along on the ride we were the right ingredients for a joyous time ahead. We headed out onto the Faridabad Highway. without a plan, and soon found ourselves riding a narrow dirt road to Surajkund. The “Kund” or lake, existed then and I think we even went for a boat ride. Simple pleasures like Paranthas and Andaa bhurji at a dhaba (road side restaurant) were…

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A sportswoman who managed teams during the Asian Games 1982

A sportswoman who managed teams during the Asian Games 1982
My mother, Parveen Kaur. Patiala, Punjab. 1975

My mother, Parveen Kaur. Patiala, Punjab. 1975 Image and Narrative contributed by Manmeet Sahni, Maryland, USA This picture of my mother Parveen Kaur was taken at a photo studio in Patiala, Punjab after she successfully attained a first division in M.P.ed (Masters in Physical Education) at the Government college of Physical Education in Patiala. Parveen Kaur (Arora) was born in the small hill town of Mussoorie, India in 1952. The 'Arora' family originally belonged to Rawalpindi, (now Pakistan), and moved to Mussourie during the Indo-Pak partition. My grandfather S. Chet Singh was a cloth merchant and he, as was with many others, had to abandon his business and assets when they moved to India. My grandfather tried to re-establish his business in Mussoorie but it was difficult. He then decided to move to Delhi for better prospects. The family settled in the western parts of the city. He bought a small piece of land and set up a Deli shop. The business couldn't pick up the way it had in Rawalpindi, but they did manage to do reasonably well. When the family moved to Delhi, Parveen Kaur was just 11.  She was the youngest in a family of five sisters and two brothers. At the time, the family norm was that  women should get married as soon as they turns 18 or younger if an appropriate groom was found. So all my aunts (mother's sisters) got married early and none of them completed their graduation. My mother, being the youngest managed to claim her right to education. An avid sportswoman at the age of 13, she went on to represent her school for Nationals in Basketball. At the Nationals she became an…

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‘Gunjing’ in the poshest market of Lucknow, Hazratgunj

‘Gunjing’ in the poshest market of Lucknow, Hazratgunj
My brother Aman and I, at our grandparents' home. Hazratgunj, Lucknow, Uttar Pradesh. 1982

My brother Aman and I, at our grandparents' home. Hazratgunj, Lucknow, Uttar Pradesh. 1982 Image and Text contributed by Annie Zaidi, Mumbai My brother Aman Zaidi and I spent about a year living with our maternal grandparents in Lucknow, while our mother was in the hostel in Aligarh Muslim University (AMU), trying to finish her Masters. I was about two and a half years old, hence my memories of this phase are dim. But I was deeply attached to my grandma and was perpetually tailing my big brother, Aman. I also have vague memories of trying to play 'Kabaddi' with his friends. This photograph was taken on Aman's seventh birthday by my father, and Aman had just been gifted his first bicycle. He learnt to ride it the same day. Since I was not gifted a bike until I was much older, I never did learn to ride one and still can't. Our father had taken us to Hazratgunj, the poshest market in town, perhaps for a treat. I have no idea why I'm making that face - perhaps annoyed at being asked to pose too long. Another colour photograph of this day tells me that my brother was wearing a smart, red jacket and it matched his brand new Red bike. I was wearing a Pink Anarkali styled kurta with a little black embroidered 'Koti' (sleeveless jacket). It was a baby version of the costume that female qawwals in Hindi movies of the 50s & 60s were often seen in. This day - or at least, this outfit - should have been memorable, my family tells me. We were visiting my bua (father's sister) and she had a pet dog. I had never…

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The first time she saw a man die

The first time she saw a man die
My father Anupam Kumar Shome and I. Srinagar, Kashmir. 1983

My father Anupam Kumar Shome and I. Srinagar, Kashmir. 1983 Image and Narrative contributed by Tillotama Shome, Mumbai In the early 80’s we lived in Rajbagh extension, near Zero Bridge in Srinagar, Kashmir. I was four years old and on my way to school with my father Anupam Kumar Shome. He was an Airforce officer. En route to school we got stuck in traffic. Apparently, there was a 'shoot out' up ahead. As the police cleared the traffic and guided us, I saw through the arches of crowded human legs, a body of a dead man, drenched in blood. The contrast of the red blood against white of snow was inexplicable and I was witnessing the lifelessness of death for the first time. My father shepherded me back home. His face was gaunt and I kept crying all the way back home. The same day he took me out for a ride in a boat and suddenly said, “You saw what happened today? It is all because of religion.” I had no idea who religion was, the names of religion’s parents, where he or she lived, what he or she did for a living, why he or she killed that man or did not save him. I was only four. I just cried. Because of what he may have seen and experienced, I think my father had come to a conclusion and a decision that religion brings grief, so Hindu spiritual ceremonies or references like Pujas, pundits, shradhs, kundli (astrology), and havans were never a welcome guest in our household. My religion or requirement of some faith, became the need to be aware of the consequences of my actions, my thoughts…

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