The day my father committed to marrying my mother

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My father, Ranjan Sarkar, Västerås, Sweden, 1970

My father, Ranjan Sarkar, Västerås, Sweden, 1970 Image and Narrative contributed by Jaydeep Sarkar, Mumbai This picture was taken a year before my parent's marriage. My father, Ranjan Sarkar, had moved to Sweden from Calcutta, in 1968, with his first job as an Engineer with ASEA.   The first child from his generation to work outside of India, my grandmother was particularly concerned about his single life and urged her elder children to find a match for my father. At that time, he was thirty, and only a thirty year old bachelor in the family could be a cause for such 'epic concern'.   Pictures of prospective brides would be sent to my father by mail, for his consideration. Unsure about committing to marriage, he would resist taking a decision on any of the pictures.   Finally my eldest aunt (my father's eldest brother's wife) sent him a letter loaded with melodramatic words of emotional blackmail, urging him to get married, for his "own sake and that of the family". With the letter, came another set of five pictures. My father's friend photographed him here on a Sunday with his Minolta camera, as he went through the letter and the five photographs that came with it. One of the pictures was that of my mother's, Jayshri Sengupta. Probably the one he is looking at in this image, or not. But it was on this day, that my father decided he was ready to commit to marriage.   A year later, my parents got married. They met each other for the first time, on the day of their wedding, at the 'mandap'.   The day was also momentous for another…

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The Fashionable large nose ring

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My father, T. P Pathak with my grandmother, Hira Pathak. Mirzapur, Uttar Pradesh. 1956

My father, T. P Pathak with my grandmother, Hira Pathak. Mirzapur, Uttar Pradesh. 1956 Image and Narrative contributed by Paritosh Pathak, India. In this image my father was 6 years old and my grandmother was 34. My grandmother was a educated woman who had attended high school and could read and write. A rarity in rural Uttar Pradesh's heartland. She was assertive, fashionable and a strong woman. Notice the large nose ring (Nath) in fashion at the time. She home schooled my father for a while. My father excelled at academics and joined the UP, State Civil Services. He retired recently after his last posting as Commissioner of Jhansi division in UP. He always credited his success to the education he received at home from my grandmother. My grandfather & his brother were orphans and raised themselves. He was married late in life to my grandmother and his brother never got married. My grandparents had two children, the older one pictured above is my father. My grandmother is now 95 and suffers from many age related ailments. She cannot recall the picture occasion, most likely it was a village fair where the picture was developed on old plate based cameras in Mirzapur, UP.

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